 | Home > Off Topic > Joke of the day ... (beat this) |
 
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| LR Nuts Member Since: 10 Aug 2022 Location: UK Posts: 830  
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It was my great great grandad who invented the Rear View Mirror, after that he never looked back.
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19th Dec 2023 6:05pm |
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| Muddybigdog Member Since: 11 Apr 2014 Location: Suffolk Posts: 992  
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 Click image to enlarge Jumped ship to reliability - Mitsubishi L200 Puma 90 XS - Sold D3 - 2.7 S x2 (both Sold) Freelander 2 HSE - Sold Freelander 1 - Sold Disco 2 - Sold Last edited by Muddybigdog on 26th Jan 2024 8:11pm. Edited 1 time in total |
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26th Jan 2024 8:09pm |
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| Muddybigdog Member Since: 11 Apr 2014 Location: Suffolk Posts: 992
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Click image to enlarge Jumped ship to reliability - Mitsubishi L200 Puma 90 XS - Sold D3 - 2.7 S x2 (both Sold) Freelander 2 HSE - Sold Freelander 1 - Sold Disco 2 - Sold |
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26th Jan 2024 8:09pm |
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| Muddybigdog Member Since: 11 Apr 2014 Location: Suffolk Posts: 992
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Click image to enlarge Sorry Idiot alert, multiple posts Jumped ship to reliability - Mitsubishi L200 Puma 90 XS - Sold D3 - 2.7 S x2 (both Sold) Freelander 2 HSE - Sold Freelander 1 - Sold Disco 2 - Sold |
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26th Jan 2024 8:10pm |
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| Muddybigdog Member Since: 11 Apr 2014 Location: Suffolk Posts: 992
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Click image to enlarge Jumped ship to reliability - Mitsubishi L200 Puma 90 XS - Sold D3 - 2.7 S x2 (both Sold) Freelander 2 HSE - Sold Freelander 1 - Sold Disco 2 - Sold |
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9th Feb 2024 11:06am |
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| lightning Member Since: 23 Apr 2009 Location: High Peak, Derbyshire Posts: 2241
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What do you call a dog that hasn't got any legs?
Call it whatever you want, it won't come. |
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11th Feb 2024 8:41pm |
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| spudfan Member Since: 10 Sep 2007 Location: Co Donegal Posts: 4480 
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Probably never learned how to reverse....
Click image to enlarge 1982 88" 2.25 diesel 1992 110 200tdi csw -Zikali 2008 110 2.4 tdci csw-Zulu 2011 110 2.4 tdci csw-Masai |
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18th Feb 2024 1:23am |
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| Swine&Small Member Since: 20 Mar 2017 Location: Norfolk Posts: 1223
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My friend could not pay his water bill, so I sent him a get well soon card ! 1983 Series 3 Pick up in Marine Blue
1967 Morris Traveller 1966 Morris Convertible 2012 VW T5 Camper Quod Abundat Non Obstat. |
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20th Feb 2024 12:58pm |
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| Evil Elsie Member Since: 25 Feb 2023 Location: Cumbria Posts: 156 
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That one took a couple of seconds - I like it...😃 2002 Land Rover 110 Td5 Utility
1990 Suzuki GSXR 1100L 1980 Yamaha RD 350LC 1976 Yamaha RD 400C |
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20th Feb 2024 7:08pm |
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| Mountain_man Member Since: 09 Dec 2011 Location: Right side of Offas Dyke Posts: 756 
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One day a man decided to retire...
He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life, that is, until the ship sank. He soon found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing, only bananas and coconuts. After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore. In disbelief, he asks, "Where did you come from? How did you get here?" She replies, "I rowed over from the other side of the island where I landed when my fishing boat sank." "Amazing," he notes. "You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up with you." "Oh, this ole thing?" explains the woman. " I made the boat out of some raw material I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree branches. I wove the bottom from palm tree branches, and the sides and stern came from an Eucalyptus tree." "But, where did you get the tools?" "Oh, that was no problem," replied the woman. " On the south side of the island, a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock is exposed. I found that if I fired it to a certain temperature in a volcanic vent I found just down island, it melted into ductile iron and I used that to make tools and used the tools to make the hardware." The guy is stunned. "Let's row over to my place," she says "and I'll give you a tour." So, after a short time of rowing, she soon docks the boat at a small hand built wharf. As the man looks to shore, he nearly falls off the boat. Before him is a long stone walk leading to a cabin and tree house. While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man can only stare ahead, dumb struck. As they walk into the house, she says casually, It's not much, but I call it home. Please sit down." "Would you like a drink?" "No! No thank you," the man blurts out, still dazed. "I can't take another drop of coconut juice." "Oh, it's not coconut juice," winks the woman. "I have a still. How would you like a Jack Daniels neat?" Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they sit down on her couch to talk. After they exchange their individual survival stories, the woman announces, "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave? There's a razor in the bathroom cabinet upstairs." No longer questioning anything, the man goes upstairs into the bathroom. There, in the cabinet is a razor made from a piece of tortoise bone. Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside a swivel mechanism. "This woman is amazing," he muses. "What's next?" When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but a bandana around her blonde locks and some small flowers on tiny vines, each strategically positioned. She smelled faintly of coconut oil. She then beckons for him to sit down next to her. "Tell me," she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him, "We've both been out here for many months. You must have been lonely. When was the last time you had a good ride?" She stares into his eyes. He can't believe what he's hearing. "You mean..." he swallows excitedly as tears start to form in his eyes, 🥺 "You've built a Defender? |
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28th Feb 2024 9:54am |
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| Mountain_man Member Since: 09 Dec 2011 Location: Right side of Offas Dyke Posts: 756
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If he can't get water from the tap then he is going to need to get a well instead, and quickly |
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29th Feb 2024 9:22pm |
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| diesel_jim Member Since: 13 Oct 2008 Location: hiding Posts: 6037 
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Hmmmm.... haha I think
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29th Feb 2024 9:25pm |
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| LR Nuts Member Since: 10 Aug 2022 Location: UK Posts: 830
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If you have to explain a joke ...... it's not funny.
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1st Mar 2024 9:15am |
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| diesel_jim Member Since: 13 Oct 2008 Location: hiding Posts: 6037
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Ah I don't know.... i need to explain every joke I hear to my good wife.... and some of those are hilarious!
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1st Mar 2024 9:17am |
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