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GUM97



Member Since: 05 Feb 2012
Location: Cheshire
Posts: 3555
United Kingdom 1997 Defender 90 300 Tdi HT Stornoway Grey
Rolling with laughter Bow down Rolling with laughter An engine to TDi for!
"Land Rover- Proudly turning drivers into mechanics since 1948"
Post #193154 13th Dec 2012 4:07pm
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Killer90
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Member Since: 09 Oct 2011
Location: Hertfordshire
Posts: 6478
United Kingdom 2016 Defender 110 Puma 2.2 XS DCPU Fuji White
party monkey wrote:
Seeing as I'm on a roll for rather iffy jokes.......

When Killer lowered his 90, I hear he sold the OEM springs to a local lad called Dirk, who has attached them to his elbows and knees and now travels great distances in a single leap from a rather odd looking crouched position.

Locally known as the Four Sprung Dirk Technique

Embarassed

Smile.... soon be christmas Thumbs Up


Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Bow down Thumbs Up love it haha CSK Automotive
www.cskautomotive.co.uk
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Post #193194 13th Dec 2012 6:08pm
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Green Machine



Member Since: 19 Nov 2010
Location: North Yorkshire
Posts: 1226
United Kingdom 2005 Defender 90 Td5 CSW Tonga Green
Just saw this on Facebook as a reply to someone who has sadly had their Defender stolen. Credited to 'Michael Landymike Walther'.
Michael Landymike Walther wrote:
Mines parked outside with the keys in it, I have fitted ££££££s of accessories and always leave the documents in the glovebox.

Oh, forgot to mention, due to all my money being spent on the landy I haven't been able to feed my rotty for nearly a week, I've also been banned from my local firing range due to shooting someone (by accident) , so me and the dog are both pretty frustrated.
 2005 Td5 | 90 Station Wagon | Tonga Green
Post #193298 13th Dec 2012 10:28pm
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TooTall



Member Since: 10 Jul 2012
Location: Fens
Posts: 504
United Kingdom 2004 Defender 90 Td5 HT Tonga Green
Learn from my mistakes . . .
With the Christmas holiday season upon us I would like to share a personal experience about drinking and driving.

Last weekend I was out for the evening with some other friends whilst SWMBO attended a works function on her own (she knows better than to take me Wink). We met at a pub a few miles away and I intended to just have a pint – but no more as I'd driven there. But the craic was good, a second pint appeared in front of me and instead of declining I found myself sipping it. It was hot in the pub and before I knew it a third pint was in front of me. This one I drank half of but then got it topped up with lemonade. However, the drinks got mixed up and I ended up downing a pint. Then another.

It would have been easy to convince myself that I could get home without incident in my car, but I still had the sense to know that I would be over the limit. So after a large whisky I did something that I’m rather pleased about - I took a taxi home.

Sure enough on the way home there was a police check-point pulling over drivers: but since it was a taxi I was in they waved it past.

I arrived home safely without incident.

































Which was a real surprise: I’d never driven a taxi before, I don't even know where I got it and now that it's in my garage I have no idea what to do with it.

M "Ease your worries, Clear-up your woes,
Go into your garage & put stuff into rows."
Post #193604 14th Dec 2012 10:33pm
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ZeDefender



Member Since: 15 Sep 2011
Location: Munich
Posts: 4731
Germany 2011 Defender 110 Puma 2.4 SW Baltic Blue
Rolling with laughter Bow down Tell someone you love them today because life is short.
But shout it at them in German because life is also terrifying and confusing...
Post #193643 15th Dec 2012 8:30am
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Lishlandy



Member Since: 26 Oct 2011
Location: High Wycombe
Posts: 941
England 2012 Defender 110 Puma 2.2 X-Tech LE Orkney Grey
Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter thats brilliant! ===================================
Steve
90 xs sw in Stonoway Grey - Sold
110 USW X-TECH
Post #193651 15th Dec 2012 9:16am
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Laurie



Member Since: 22 Feb 2008
Location: Sussex, England
Posts: 2897
England 2005 Defender 90 Td5 XS CSW Bonatti Grey
Some people are like a slinky.
They have no use at all but they put a smile on your face when you push them down the stairs. 
Post #193684 15th Dec 2012 12:20pm
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Killer90
Site Sponsor


Member Since: 09 Oct 2011
Location: Hertfordshire
Posts: 6478
United Kingdom 2016 Defender 110 Puma 2.2 XS DCPU Fuji White
I just popped down the shops to get one of those artificial Christmas trees.

The girl on the checkout asked me " Are you going to put that up yourself?"

"Nah", I said, " I think I'll just put it in the front room". CSK Automotive
www.cskautomotive.co.uk
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Post #195251 20th Dec 2012 10:57pm
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custom90



Member Since: 21 Jan 2010
Location: South West, England.
Posts: 20820
United Kingdom 
Rolling with laughter Bow down _\Hennessey|Venom| F5/___
___\â­ï¸Lone|Star|State/___
____\We|Will|Win/___
____/🇬🇧🇺🇸\____
_//*⛽ï¸ðŸ›¢ï¸âš™ï¸ðŸ§°*\\_
Post #195278 21st Dec 2012 12:06am
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Killer90
Site Sponsor


Member Since: 09 Oct 2011
Location: Hertfordshire
Posts: 6478
United Kingdom 2016 Defender 110 Puma 2.2 XS DCPU Fuji White
custom90steve wrote:
Rolling with laughter Bow down

Thumbs Up CSK Automotive
www.cskautomotive.co.uk
Like us on Facebook - www.facebook.com/csklr
Follow us on Instagram - @cskautomotive
Post #195280 21st Dec 2012 12:09am
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party monkey



Member Since: 31 Dec 2010
Location: Oxon.
Posts: 1311
England 2005 Defender 110 Td5 XS CSW Cairns Blue
The kids are pretty hacked off with me that I bought them Mayan advent calendars this year...

Still.... its not the end of the world Smile Jon - 110 td5 [sold]. Currently Defenderless.
Post #195326 21st Dec 2012 11:38am
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Tiger



Member Since: 06 Jul 2012
Location: Wales
Posts: 2265
2004 Defender 110 Td5 CSW Java Black
Two Nuns in the showers;
1st Nun says "Wears the soap"
2nd Nun replies "yes it does, doesn't it."






Two Nuns riding their bikes decide to take a short cut down a cobbled street.
1st Nun says "I don't usually come this way"
2nd Nun replies "Me either, I normally just rub soap into my tw@t"
Post #195329 21st Dec 2012 12:24pm
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Killer90
Site Sponsor


Member Since: 09 Oct 2011
Location: Hertfordshire
Posts: 6478
United Kingdom 2016 Defender 110 Puma 2.2 XS DCPU Fuji White
oh dear Tiger Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Bow down CSK Automotive
www.cskautomotive.co.uk
Like us on Facebook - www.facebook.com/csklr
Follow us on Instagram - @cskautomotive
Post #195414 21st Dec 2012 6:08pm
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custom90



Member Since: 21 Jan 2010
Location: South West, England.
Posts: 20820
United Kingdom 
Only Tiger Wood.

Rolling with laughter _\Hennessey|Venom| F5/___
___\â­ï¸Lone|Star|State/___
____\We|Will|Win/___
____/🇬🇧🇺🇸\____
_//*⛽ï¸ðŸ›¢ï¸âš™ï¸ðŸ§°*\\_
Post #195441 21st Dec 2012 6:51pm
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xatzhs



Member Since: 12 Dec 2010
Location: Northumberland & Down South
Posts: 258
United Kingdom 2007 Defender 110 Puma 2.4 XS CSW Java Black
One of the toddlers on the Intensive Care Unit is playing with a toy donkey.








ICU baby, shaking that ass.
Post #195711 22nd Dec 2012 5:16pm
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