 | Home > Off Topic > Joke of the day ... (beat this) |
 
|
|
|
| spudfan Member Since: 10 Sep 2007 Location: Co Donegal Posts: 4478  
|
Is that the one that has no connection to "horsepower?"
 1982 88" 2.25 diesel
1992 110 200tdi csw -Zikali 2008 110 2.4 tdci csw-Zulu 2011 110 2.4 tdci csw-Masai |
||
6th Sep 2022 8:25pm |
|
| Cragster69 Member Since: 15 Jun 2021 Location: Scotland Posts: 166  
|
 Click image to enlarge Liz v Liz Craig. “Don't believe everything you read on the internet.” ― Abraham Lincoln www.scotgrc.co.uk |
||
|
7th Sep 2022 2:42pm |
|
| Cragster69 Member Since: 15 Jun 2021 Location: Scotland Posts: 166
|
Click image to enlarge Craig. “Don't believe everything you read on the internet.” ― Abraham Lincoln www.scotgrc.co.uk |
||
|
12th Sep 2022 4:21pm |
|
| Procta Member Since: 04 Dec 2016 Location: Sunderland Posts: 4937 
|
There were three girls who were getting married and all met at the marriage counselor's office to discuss the options of having or not having a baby right away. There were two city girls and one farm girl...
The counselor asked them if they planned on having a baby right away or were going to wait awhile. They all agreed that they had discussed this with their potential husbands and all agreed to wait awhile... Well, the counselor asked the first girl what type of birth control she planned to use. Her answer was, "The rhythm method"... "That will work," said the counselor, "if you keep a good record"... He asked the second girl what system she planned on using. "I plan on using birth control pills," she said.. Again he said, "Yes that will work as long as you don't forget to take them." He then asked the farm girl what system she was planning on using. Her answer was, "The bucket and saucer method." After a short delay, he told her that should also work... He asked them all to come back in one year on a specific date for a follow up on how things were going... They all met again one year later and the two city girls were pregnant. Only the farm girl was slim and trim yet... Well, the counselor asked the first girl what method she used and what went wrong. She replied, "I used the rhythm method but somehow got my notes mixed up and, well here I am, going to have a baby"... He asked the second city girl what method she used and she replied, "The birth control pill. But we were camping one weekend and I didn't have my pills with me and as you can see, I too am going to have a baby"... He turns to the farm girl. "I vaguely remember you were going to use the bucket and saucer method. Now I must admit that I don't have a clue what the bucketl and saucer method is. Will you explain it to me as I see it has worked well for you"...? She replied, "Well we make love standing up, and since I am quite a bit taller than my husband, he stands on a bucket turned upside down. Now as we are making love, I watch his eyes, and when his eyes get as big as saucers, I kick the bucket out from under him" Defender TD5 90 ---/--- Peugeot 306 HDI hatch back Success is 90% Inspiration and 4 minutes Preparation # you can make it! |
||
|
29th Sep 2022 5:43am |
|
| Procta Member Since: 04 Dec 2016 Location: Sunderland Posts: 4937
|
While in China , a man is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom all the time he is there.
A week after arriving back home in Sydney, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots. Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor. The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days for the results. The man returns a couple of days later and the doctor says, "I've got bad news for you, you've contracted Mongolian VD. It's very rare and almost unheard of here, we know very little about it." The man looks a little perplexed and says, "Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, Doc." The doctor answers, "I'm sorry, there's no known cure. We're going to have to amputate your penis" The man screams in horror, "Absolutely not! I want a second opinion!!!" The doctor replies, "Well, it's your choice. Go ahead, if you want, but surgery is your only option." The next day, the man seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring that he'll know more about the disease. The Chinese doctor examines his penis and proclaims, "Ah, yes, Mongolian VD. Vewy ware disease." The guy says to the doctor, "Yeah, yeah, I already know that but what can we do? My doctor wants to cut off my penis!" The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs. "Stupid Australian docttah, always want opawate. Make more money dat way. No need amputate!" "Oh, thank God!" the man exclaims. "Yes,"says the Chinese doctor, "Wait two week. Fawl off by itself. Defender TD5 90 ---/--- Peugeot 306 HDI hatch back Success is 90% Inspiration and 4 minutes Preparation # you can make it! |
||
|
29th Sep 2022 5:43am |
|
| Muddybigdog Member Since: 11 Apr 2014 Location: Suffolk Posts: 991 
|
London Marathon Completed in 6 hours and 5 minutes
- I watched the BBC coverage from 8:30am to 2:35pm Jumped ship to reliability - Mitsubishi L200 Puma 90 XS - Sold D3 - 2.7 S x2 (both Sold) Freelander 2 HSE - Sold Freelander 1 - Sold Disco 2 - Sold |
||
|
3rd Oct 2022 5:14pm |
|
| Leamreject Member Since: 19 Dec 2020 Location: Middle Earth - Leamington Spa Posts: 954  
|
Surely more painful than actually doing it….
 Ride like you stole it!!
If I’m not on a bike it’s because only a 4x4 will do… 2011 2.4 Puma 90 HT |
||
|
3rd Oct 2022 5:31pm |
|
| spudfan Member Since: 10 Sep 2007 Location: Co Donegal Posts: 4478
|
Click image to enlarge 1982 88" 2.25 diesel 1992 110 200tdi csw -Zikali 2008 110 2.4 tdci csw-Zulu 2011 110 2.4 tdci csw-Masai |
||
|
4th Oct 2022 10:17pm |
|
| spudfan Member Since: 10 Sep 2007 Location: Co Donegal Posts: 4478
|
Oops, double post 1982 88" 2.25 diesel
1992 110 200tdi csw -Zikali 2008 110 2.4 tdci csw-Zulu 2011 110 2.4 tdci csw-Masai |
||
|
4th Oct 2022 10:17pm |
|
| Mother superior Member Since: 05 Aug 2013 Location: Surrey Posts: 494
|
I came downstairs today to find that someone has broken into my house and stolen my fruit bowl.
I'm peachless. Oh woe, oh woe My crusty old landrover, It will not go. |
||
|
5th Oct 2022 4:12pm |
|
| Mother superior Member Since: 05 Aug 2013 Location: Surrey Posts: 494
|
I came downstairs today to find that someone has broken into my house and stolen my fruit bowl.
I'm peachless. Oh woe, oh woe My crusty old landrover, It will not go. |
||
|
5th Oct 2022 4:12pm |
|
| Mother superior Member Since: 05 Aug 2013 Location: Surrey Posts: 494
|
I haven't seen my brother since we left Austrailia.
We were separated at Perth. Oh woe, oh woe My crusty old landrover, It will not go. |
||
|
5th Oct 2022 4:20pm |
|
| Arkaig Member Since: 01 Feb 2020 Location: Highland Posts: 41
|
Click image to enlarge |
||
|
16th Oct 2022 12:54am |
|
| Cragster69 Member Since: 15 Jun 2021 Location: Scotland Posts: 166
|
Click image to enlarge Craig. “Don't believe everything you read on the internet.” ― Abraham Lincoln www.scotgrc.co.uk |
||
|
16th Oct 2022 12:01pm |
|
|
|
| All times are GMT + 1 Hour |
< Previous Topic | Next Topic > |
Posting Rules
|
Site Copyright © 2006-2024 Futuranet Ltd & Martin Lewis
