 | Home > Off Topic > Who'd be an Estate Agent...? |
 
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| Grenadier Member Since: 23 Jul 2014 Location: The foot of Mont Blanc... Posts: 5893   
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In my ten years as an Estate Agent I have seen many things, but today's was a first. I was viewing a lovely, large, well located chalet, healthy plot, ripe for renovation, 2m€ at least. In dodgy agent parlance, it had 'bags of potential'. Walking around the house with the daughter of the owner, we approached a bedroom and on opening the door the daughter put her finger to her lips and asked that I be silent. I obliged and entered the darkened room expecting to find a sleeping or ill child etc. But no, instead I walked into an over-chilled room and as the lights were switched on, found myself staring at her recently deceased mother, lying on a table, hands across her chest, white (and smelly) and being prepared for her wake.
 Quite a surprise.
Being the least religious man in Christendom I said nothing, observed a moment's silence and left having obviously measured the room with my laser measurer. Joking aside, I will have to do so tomorrow as I have been asked to return and take full measurements of the chalet to provide a formal estimation for the Notaire. Should be fun. (For those wondering, she died yesterday, so yes, I was contacted before she was cold  ).
Certainly different from the valuation last week conducted with an owner who spent the entire time puffing on a massive spliff.... Monsieur Le Grenadier I've not been everywhere, but it's on my list..... 2011 Puma 110DC - Corris Grey |
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7th Mar 2016 7:12pm |
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| GREENI Member Since: 22 Aug 2010 Location: staffs Posts: 10384 
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That story didn't go as I was hoping !!!
Hahahahahaha |
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7th Mar 2016 7:15pm |
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| LEZ Member Since: 22 Oct 2015 Location: London Posts: 169
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Kids eh! arranging to sell our assets before they even bury us
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7th Mar 2016 7:19pm |
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| Grenadier Member Since: 23 Jul 2014 Location: The foot of Mont Blanc... Posts: 5893
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Not a surprise coming from you. But as any agent who's 'den their time' (over a decade for me), then naked women coming out of showers, who people having sex, are par for the course. I had one colleague who must (in the year I worked in this branch) have been called ten or more times by a tenant who kept on getting her 'toe stuck in the tap' whilst in the bath. Only he was called, only he was allowed to 'help'. She is what would now be referred to as a Milf or Cougar....
Then there's the case of a colleague in London viewing a first floor maisonette. He knocked on the door at the bottom of the stairs and subsequently heard a heavy thump. On entering and calling up the stairs he heard groaning. As he reached the hallway landing he found the owner, flat on his back, semi conscious and naked rolling around on the carpet. On speaking to him it seems the owner had been clearing out the loft, but because it was so hot and mid summer had undressed, not realising a viewing was imminent. On hearing the doorbell and realising his predicament, the owner started retreating down the ladder only to slip and fall out of the loft, flat on his back, a total of a grand Victorian 12ft, to be found by his agent. Fortunately he was not spotted by the prospective buyers and was helped into the bedroom to dress, the viewing continuing without any further hiccups. For those who are wondering, the clients didn't buy the house, but the agent concerned was eventually the successful selling agent and the owner, feeling the Agency had done such a professional job, ultimately joined them and became an agent himself. And in case anyone hasn't figured it out, yes, the owner of the maisonette was Yours Truly...... 
I am assuming you were after naked 'Carry On' stories? If you want more death and gore, there have been other viewings.... Monsieur Le Grenadier
I've not been everywhere, but it's on my list..... 2011 Puma 110DC - Corris Grey |
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7th Mar 2016 7:25pm |
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| Philslandy Member Since: 10 Sep 2013 Location: Eifel Posts: 156  
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What a Story...
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7th Mar 2016 8:00pm |
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| simon67 Member Since: 18 Jun 2015 Location: west sussex Posts: 569  
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Can I have the phone number for the MILF?
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8th Mar 2016 10:57am |
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| Grenadier Member Since: 23 Jul 2014 Location: The foot of Mont Blanc... Posts: 5893
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Thankfully nothing. Ultimately I worked with him as an agent for two years and he became a good friend. I say 'thankfully nothing' because I found out after the incident as I got to know him better, that he is gay with a not very subtle predilection for hardcore S+M. Monsieur Le Grenadier
I've not been everywhere, but it's on my list..... 2011 Puma 110DC - Corris Grey |
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8th Mar 2016 11:16am |
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| excossack Member Since: 22 Feb 2012 Location: North West Posts: 6013 
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with a not very subtle predilection for hardcore S+M.... Sales and Marketing...?
 1999 Defender TD5 110
Regards John M0VAZ Econet Station 48 no clock |
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8th Mar 2016 12:32pm |
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| Grenadier Member Since: 23 Jul 2014 Location: The foot of Mont Blanc... Posts: 5893
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Exactly, just sell, sell, sell with us agents. Having said that, he would do so with whips, chains, gags......
Monsieur Le Grenadier
I've not been everywhere, but it's on my list..... 2011 Puma 110DC - Corris Grey |
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8th Mar 2016 2:39pm |
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| LoveTheMud Member Since: 19 Feb 2015 Location: Weybridge Surrey & Pontefract West Yorkshire Posts: 411 
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hilarious |
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8th Mar 2016 2:46pm |
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| Alex1976 Member Since: 24 Jan 2013 Location: Buckingham Posts: 596
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When I was just starting my career I had the job of doing mortgage surveys, very boring work to mainly check if the house had walls and a roof and was within value for the loan.
I had several incidents where I surveyed properties with 'special rooms' with all sorts of 'toys' in them for playtime. This was well before 50 Shades was around, so it was more than just the odd pair of handcuffs. It certainly opened my eyes to a few things as a young guy. It always amazed me that there never seemed to be any attempt to hide these things from me despite knowing I was coming around for the survey. I was never sure if all the kit should add to the valuation. And yes, there were a couple of 'perks' to the job  |
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8th Mar 2016 10:42pm |
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