 | Home > Off Topic > A hospital stay with our daughter |
 
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| spudfan Member Since: 10 Sep 2007 Location: Co Donegal Posts: 4812  
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We spent 25 days in hospital with our daughter. My wife had a mattress on the floor on one side of her bed while I slept in a sleeping bag on a sleeping bag on the other side on the floor. Our daughter was on an anti biotic drip every six hours for 17 days. Blood was taken every day. The blood tests were saying our daughter was improving but the physical side of things said otherwise.
She was subjected to a lot of examinations, internally to try to get to the bottom of things. These brought other issues to our attention which we did not know existed. So these factors were pointing to something going on that was hindering a recovery. We think we have a handle on this now. Our daughter is 29 and has Down Syndrome. The experience was a little over powering for her. I explained that it was necessary to help her get better in order for her to make sense of it and deal with it. They used to put something called a "cannula" into a vein on her arm to insert the drip. This was very sore for her. She is small and her veins are hard to find. When it was being done she would hug me with her free arm and put her face against me and cry. When it was finished being inserted I would wipe her tears from her face. She would then hug me and the nurse who inserted it. They were usually changed every four days or more often if one leaked. Getting blood every day was another sore event for her and the same process and tears were gone through. Hugs all around when finished. Owing to her swollen leg and knee, which she could not bend, my wife used to take her to the toilet. Her period decided to kick around this time just to complicate matters. My wife and I each had our specific jobs with our daughter. Every so often my wife and I would leg it down to a local shopping centre and buy much needed tee shirts and underwear. My wife could shower in the ward toilet when showering my daughter. In the evenings I used to go down to a quiet corridor to a toilet and wash. I found one where I could put my feet into the sink (one at a time) and get an all over wash using shower gel...without the shower. Morning time I would go outside for some fresh air, sometomes wet fresh air, but much needed fresh air. If you have ever spent time in a hospital ward you will know what I mean. I would stand at the railings looking at the cars driving by. One day I realised that I was making a note of the different shades of white on different cars going by. I wondered if I was about to follow Alice down a rabbit hole. One day I noticed a flashing light across the road. This took my mind off the white cars for a while. I crossed the road to see what was going down. It was a red Scania truck with the bonnet open and the engine running. We had a very warm spell of weather about then, hard to believe I know but there you are. There was a small crane on the back holding up a canopy while the workers put the supports in place. Now this was action with a capital "A". It was good bye Alice and good bye white cars. I sat on a wall thoroughly engrossed. Sadly all too soon the job was finished. The engine on the Scania was turned off, the bonnet was closed and tools packed up and they departed in the Scania. All good things come to an end. Now which rabbit whole did Alice go down. I was standing at the railings one day when I realised this how captain Ahab must have felt. I was reading Moby Dick. The difference being that Ahab was standing looking for the white whale while I was standing looking at white cars. One morning a female member of staff went by and as she passed something lingered in the air behind her. It was not diesel, was not petrol so it must be from a bottle I thought. I realised that there was an aroma surrounding me. It was not diesel, it was not petrol and it definately was not from a bottle. I realised I was beginning to smell like Robinson Crusoe. Drastic action was needed. One evening my wife and I drove home, just under an hour, showered, got a supply of clean clothes and headed back to the hospital. We were away for three hours. After seventeen days some one realised that there should only be one parent in the ward at night with our daughter. I moved out to the car park to sleep in the back of the Puma 110. The Puma 110 was never designed for sleeping in owing to the mechanism on the floor to lock the middle row of seats in place. No matter which direction you lay it was either between your shoulder and your elbow or your knee and your feet. I had a pretty miserable first night in the Puma in the hospital car park owing to the coming and going during the night. Next day one of the security staff told me to go over to the covid testing centre as it would be quieter. I found a spot there outside the covid centre by the perimiter fence under some trees. No one bothered me there. I used to leave the ward about 10pm as it was lights out time. Unfortunately the walk in the fresh air up to the Puma used to waken me up. So between that and the Puma floor it took a while to get to sleep. Dawn comes early this time of year, especially if you have no curtains. En suite facilities were provided by paper cups. During this time there were multiple tests done on my daughter and we seemed to heading in the right direction, so there was light at the end of the tunnel, getting brighter everyday. I remember standing out side one day watching the staff coming and going. Some had paper cups with coffee others with a mobile phone in one hand texting away. I remember thinking that one of the great steps in the development of Homo Sapiens was the opposible thumb. Without this people would not be able to hold a disposible coffee cup. This would not effect me as I do not use paper cups (except for ensuite purposes). People would not be able to text without an opposible thumb. This does not effect me either as I do not have a mobile phone. This shows you how close I was to following Alice down that rabbit hole. On Monday the 30th of June after 25 days we finally got to come home with our daughter. Not 100% yet but much improved. We also have those other newly found issues to get a handle on. I have not been around for awhile and I might not be back for a while yet. I am thankful that I did not follow Alice down the rabbit hole but there were times when I came unnervingly close to it. Lessons learnt? Well new clothes are a lot more comfortable if you remove the price tags. 1982 88" 2.25 diesel 1992 110 200tdi csw -Zikali 2008 110 2.4 tdci csw-Zulu 2011 110 2.4 tdci csw-Masai |
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15th Jul 2025 8:38pm |
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| wyvern Member Since: 14 Dec 2009 Location: Cornwall Posts: 2148  
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Our thoughts are with you and your family !
hang in there and your spirits up She is in the best place with the best care and your love to help. huge hugs and positive best wishes  Poppy - TDCI (Puma) 110XS 2.2 - Camper conversion - see the build here - https://www.defender2.net/forum/topic56530.html
Elgar -TDCI(Puma) 110XS Dormobile - now sold Devon & Cornwall 4x4 Response - DC126  |
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15th Jul 2025 9:10pm |
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| Rashers Member Since: 21 Jun 2015 Location: Norfolk Posts: 3623 
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Good grief spudfan. You have all been through a lot in the past month or so.
I am glad you have your daughter home and she is a little bit better. Much respect to you and your wife for staying as close as you could to her in the hospital. I had noticed your absence. I just assumed that you had sold up the Land Rovers and bought a Tesla 
Seriously though, you really do sound like you have all been through the wringer. Remember to look after yourselves. Hospitals are marvellous places but no one likes being in them (either as a patient or visitor) and that was an awfully long time you both spent looking after your daughter. Much respect for both of your duty of care 
Best wishes, spudfan. I really hope your daughter keeps improving and you can get your life back to a bit of normality soon |
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15th Jul 2025 9:17pm |
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| spudfan Member Since: 10 Sep 2007 Location: Co Donegal Posts: 4812
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Thank you for your kind thoughts. I have posted an update on the final cost of the 2008 repairs
https://www.defender2.net/forum/topic96273.html 1982 88" 2.25 diesel 1992 110 200tdi csw -Zikali 2008 110 2.4 tdci csw-Zulu 2011 110 2.4 tdci csw-Masai |
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15th Jul 2025 11:17pm |
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| Bowbearer Member Since: 12 Aug 2022 Location: Norfolk Posts: 221 
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I've had Kids in Hospital for major ops, not as long as that so big respect.
The worst thing I found was Hospital Time was completely different to the rest of the Universe. Well done Spud for supporting your family, its tough when you are seen to be the strong one. I remember waiting 9 hours outside the Op Theatre watching a little red light above the door, longest 9 hours of my life. to be in the situation you were must have been devastating on your mental health. Look after yourself and make sure you get rest and a break. you can't help others if you are not well. Look after yourself and big love to your family. Your daughter sounds like she is a real fighter, that helps. I finally got a mobile phone when my brother died so I could text my Nephews. It has a permanent position on top of the fish tank next to my chair. only take it on "emergencies". |
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16th Jul 2025 10:07am |
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| Crazymind Member Since: 11 Jun 2024 Location: Glasgow Posts: 290
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Wish you and your family the best going forward. I can only learn from strong people like you and grateful for this lesson.
If there is anything I can do for you please feel free to ask. |
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16th Jul 2025 4:01pm |
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| Birdy Member Since: 07 Oct 2011 Location: Côte d'Azur Posts: 886  
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We lived and worked in Syria, two of our children were born in Damascus, one became seriously ill and had to be Medevaced to a clinic in Germany - getting a private aircraft with two pilots and two doctors landed in a military airport in a country at war with Israel a story in itself.
My wife flew out with our infant son in an incubator; when I was able to follow some days later, on arrival at the hospital I was told my wife had been accommodated in a nearby Ronald McDonald House and I could join her there. My son was three months in hospital, I was recalled to Syria and my wife visited him from her parents' home quite some distance away. But those early days were made easier through the Ronald McDonald charity which helps so many parents be near their hospitalised children, I don't often eat in McDonalds (yuk!) but whenever I do I leave a BIG contribution in their collection box. Peter |
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17th Jul 2025 5:44pm |
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| Procta Member Since: 04 Dec 2016 Location: Sunderland Posts: 5321
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bloody hell Spuds you are having a time! you know something, this bloody year has been one right off for everyone i have spoken to, Two positive things, two of my friends are getting married one very shortly the other next year, which i have been asked to be best man at.
I think we will be all glad when 2025 is over like, i wish your daughter a speedy recovery, and things go straight again for you and your family. Things are just taking the  out of everyone at the moment, and its got to stop big style like. as its not funny. Defender TD5 90 ---/--- Peugeot 306 HDI hatch back
In the words of my Good Friend, Gary Forrest 1980 -2025 " we will work something out" |
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18th Jul 2025 2:15am |
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| spudfan Member Since: 10 Sep 2007 Location: Co Donegal Posts: 4812
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If ever a post summed up "anguish, perseverence, hope and final redemption", that is it. 1982 88" 2.25 diesel 1992 110 200tdi csw -Zikali 2008 110 2.4 tdci csw-Zulu 2011 110 2.4 tdci csw-Masai |
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18th Jul 2025 3:44pm |
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| jim4244 Member Since: 13 Apr 2014 Location: Bedfordshire Posts: 966  
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Hi Spud
So glad that your daughter is home and on the mend. It sounds like the most stressful time imaginable.. Jim |
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18th Jul 2025 4:09pm |
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| spudfan Member Since: 10 Sep 2007 Location: Co Donegal Posts: 4812
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This was put inside my daughter to navigate and photograph what the scopes could not reach. It is a camera with a light. Normally the patient swallows this but my daughter could not do this owing to various factors. She had to be heavily sedated and then a doctor had to be present to get this down her throat where it was pushed down, It navigated her internals sending about 1500 photos to a contraption she wore on her hip. We had to make sure the capsule passed safely through her and did not cause a blockage. It made for unusual viewing!
We returned the belt thing and are awaiting the results which have to be analysed by the medical team. We got word, on the quiet, that issues were present but we will get called to a meeting and the road forward planned. Click image to enlarge 1982 88" 2.25 diesel 1992 110 200tdi csw -Zikali 2008 110 2.4 tdci csw-Zulu 2011 110 2.4 tdci csw-Masai |
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18th Jul 2025 4:19pm |
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| L110CDL Member Since: 31 Oct 2015 Location: Devon Posts: 11031
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Hi Spud
Wishing all your family the best and it's great that your daughter is home with you and for the care at home Clayton.
1996 Golf Blue 300Tdi 110 Pick up. Keeper. |
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18th Jul 2025 9:27pm |
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| Bowbearer Member Since: 12 Aug 2022 Location: Norfolk Posts: 221
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Wow,
That like that old science fiction film when the submarine went into the patient. Amazing. Hope it provides good results Our thoughts are with you. |
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19th Jul 2025 3:15pm |
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