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Procta

Member Since: 04 Dec 2016
Location: Sunderland
Posts: 5287

sums up this year for me, before its even started.

I thought all the bad times were left behind last year, with the loss of our family dog jasper, and the massive repair bills, me and my parents had.
But yesterday, i returned a missed call from one of my closest pals brother, to be told that my pal had been found dead, poor lad had died in his sleep. He was only 44 years old, He was my right hand man with the cars. The very last job we did there was change the wheel bearing on the 306 days before xmas. i had started rolling out repairs. He has also helped my dad with repairs with his defender in the past,
I was his ear for when him and his Mrs split up in 2018, just so he didn't do anything silly etc, even helped him out, a few times by putting money back in his pocket by car sharing so that he could put cash away for his kids etc. I added his autistic sons youtube account to my family premium, so that he could watch, stuff with out the ads, to stop him been frustrated when ads pop up on videos.
so sadly he leaves a autistic 13 year old son, who wont under stand, what the hell has gone on, and a daughter of 22 years old and one son 20, who is training to be a car mechanic.
I had only chatted to him on sunday night too, things were finally going his way this year. New job, pay rise, more time with his children.

So this year has gone bloody sour already before its even started, i have wrote this year off like after this one like. i am just waiting on something else to take a pop at me, family and friends.

me and mutual close friends, are in pieces, one he got a job working with, the other was on the verge of meeting up with for a catch up. Defender TD5 90 ---/--- Peugeot 306 HDI hatch back

In the words of my Good Friend, Gary Forrest 1980 -2025
" we will work something out"

25th Feb 2025 9:15pm

revd

Member Since: 20 Apr 2024
Location: England
Posts: 249

I'm sorry for your loss. Friends are irreplaceable - once you get past a certain age it is almost impossible to build new friendships.

25th Feb 2025 10:09pm

HuddyM

Member Since: 28 Jan 2025
Location: Yorkshire
Posts: 47

2009 Defender 90 Puma 2.4 CSW Stornoway Grey

So sorry for your loss, sounds like you’ve had a really rough ride!

26th Feb 2025 12:05am

Rashers

Member Since: 21 Jun 2015
Location: Norfolk
Posts: 3615

2014 Defender 110 Puma 2.2 USW Corris Grey

That's very sad news, Procta.

It's tough when we hear of friends and acquaintances passing at such a young age.

26th Feb 2025 2:47pm

L110CDL

Member Since: 31 Oct 2015
Location: Devon
Posts: 10988

Very sorry to hear of your loss Procta. Clayton.

1996 Golf Blue 300Tdi 110 Pick up.
Keeper.

26th Feb 2025 10:10pm

Pickles

Member Since: 26 May 2013
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 3793

2013 Defender 90 Puma 2.2 CSW Keswick Green

Not good Procta, but at least you were a very good friend to him, & helped him out where you could.

26th Feb 2025 10:49pm

spudfan

Member Since: 10 Sep 2007
Location: Co Donegal
Posts: 4806

That is a sad story. I had a pretty annoying 2024 owing to a bad decision I made. The decision was to get the Defender 200 110 tdi rebuilt on a galvanised chances. Owing to factors outside my control I entrusted it to an outside party recommended to me. Well the galvanised chassis and bulkhead were done fine. The finishing off was awful. I am still not finished sorting it out. I might put the story up sometimes.
Now I was pretty cheesed off (still am!) but as the Mrs keeps saying "We are getting it sorted."
Compared to your news this is a minor irritant. To lose someone like that is blow to your whole life. This cannot be fixed or reversed engineered. You will have memories which will always be there.
Memories are great. Me I like to think of the Mrs as when I met her first. Then she walks into the room and blows those memories out of the water!
You will be working on the Land Rover someday and you will stop and think. "Now if only --- was here." and you will smile. He will always be in your head, as you remember him. Good people are hard to find, cherish the memory. 1982 88" 2.25 diesel
1992 110 200tdi csw -Zikali
2008 110 2.4 tdci csw-Zulu
2011 110 2.4 tdci csw-Masai

28th Feb 2025 12:19pm

Procta

Member Since: 04 Dec 2016
Location: Sunderland
Posts: 5287

Oddly enough you said that spuds lad, i was doing the exhaust rubber on the 306, as its just had the clutch done, gearbox seals, and mounts. I was thinking, the last time i did a job on this, he was here with me. Stuff that has gone on since he passed, id have loved to tell him about.

His daughter has got a bit of a war going on with his side of the family over some belongings of his. Which he will have hit the roof over, on how things are been played at the moment. I have done my best to help his daughter, where i could. She did him proud on the send off.

As for cause of death, not known, But i was talking to his brother, and we both think he burnt him self out.

So lads please have some down time your selves, and worry about one thing at a time and sort one problem at a time. I know its easier said than done.

As for you defender rebuild spuds, send me a PM about that, and we can exchange stories, as my parents have had the same experience

Defender TD5 90 ---/--- Peugeot 306 HDI hatch back

In the words of my Good Friend, Gary Forrest 1980 -2025
" we will work something out"

19th Apr 2025 12:05am

Procta

Member Since: 04 Dec 2016
Location: Sunderland
Posts: 5287

revd wrote:
I'm sorry for your loss. Friends are irreplaceable - once you get past a certain age it is almost impossible to build new friendships.

Thing is Revd i don't have all that many friends, to start with, i only have 3 very close friends now. Defender TD5 90 ---/--- Peugeot 306 HDI hatch back

In the words of my Good Friend, Gary Forrest 1980 -2025
" we will work something out"

19th Apr 2025 12:07am

spudfan

Member Since: 10 Sep 2007
Location: Co Donegal
Posts: 4806

Procta wrote:

As for you defender rebuild spuds, send me a PM about that, and we can exchange stories, as my parents have had the same experience

Give me a day or two (or three). 1982 88" 2.25 diesel
1992 110 200tdi csw -Zikali
2008 110 2.4 tdci csw-Zulu
2011 110 2.4 tdci csw-Masai

19th Apr 2025 11:26am

Rashers

Member Since: 21 Jun 2015
Location: Norfolk
Posts: 3615

Procta wrote:
revd wrote:
I'm sorry for your loss. Friends are irreplaceable - once you get past a certain age it is almost impossible to build new friendships.

Thing is Revd i don't have all that many friends, to start with, i only have 3 very close friends now.

I don’t think you are unique Procta. If you have three close friends, I think you are doing really well.

In this world of social media and even normal day to day life, people get very confused by the word friend and they think their 350 Facebook friends are the reality of life.

You really don’t know who your friends are until your back is up against the wall or you have hit rock bottom. Those people who rally around you, those people who lend a helping hand and those people who keep in regular contact are to be embraced as true friends.

The others are just people we know.

If you have a trade as I do, you find at times of their need, you end up with plenty of ‘friends’

19th Apr 2025 12:59pm

Procta

Member Since: 04 Dec 2016
Location: Sunderland
Posts: 5287

well his daughter found out what happened, My friend had a rare heart problem, and i think all the stress didn't help at all over the last few years.
So if anyone blacks out, get it checked out very quickly

Defender TD5 90 ---/--- Peugeot 306 HDI hatch back

In the words of my Good Friend, Gary Forrest 1980 -2025
" we will work something out"

27th Apr 2025 1:50am

Pickles

Member Since: 26 May 2013
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 3793

Rashers wrote:
Procta wrote:
revd wrote:
I'm sorry for your loss. Friends are irreplaceable - once you get past a certain age it is almost impossible to build new friendships.

Thing is Revd i don't have all that many friends, to start with, i only have 3 very close friends now.

I don’t think you are unique Procta. If you have three close friends, I think you are doing really well.

In this world of social media and even normal day to day life, people get very confused by the word friend and they think their 350 Facebook friends are the reality of life.

You really don’t know who your friends are until your back is up against the wall or you have hit rock bottom. Those people who rally around you, those people who lend a helping hand and those people who keep in regular contact are to be embraced as true friends.

The others are just people we know.

If you have a trade as I do, you find at times of their need, you end up with plenty of ‘friends’

Yes, I agree, true friends are very special.

27th Apr 2025 11:59pm

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