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ssg



Member Since: 01 Mar 2018
Location: North East
Posts: 65

United Kingdom 
Dubai
The people in Dubai dont like The Flintstones but the people in Abu Dabi do.
Post #894866 30th Mar 2021 8:35am
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spudfan



Member Since: 10 Sep 2007
Location: Co Donegal
Posts: 4428

Ireland 
Two women were out shopping. One woman picks up a carrot and says to the other woman
"This carrot is like my husband's manhood"
"Really" says the other woman "In what way?!
"Guess" said the first woman.
"Is it the length of it?"
"No, guess again."
"Is it the shape of it?"
"No, guess again"
"Is it the width of it?."
"No, guess again."
"I give up. What is the reason?."
"It's the dirt on it..." 1982 88" 2.25 diesel
1992 110 200tdi csw -Zikali
2008 110 2.4 tdci csw-Zulu
2011 110 2.4 tdci csw-Masai
Post #895403 1st Apr 2021 4:28pm
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Ryderoo



Member Since: 28 Aug 2015
Location: South Bucks
Posts: 1655

England 2015 Defender 90 Puma 2.2 HT Santorini Black
New kebab shop opened in our town. I thought I’d give it try.
I popped in over the weekend and asked the fella behind the counter

Do you deliver?

He replied

No ... ....... we only do Chicken, Lamb and Fish!! Cheers Simon

I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you

2015 Urban Truck 90 XS Santorini Black Hard Top - Reluctantly gone
2020 Discovery 5 Eiger Grey 3.0 SE
2021 Defender S D250 Santorini Black 110 Hard Top on the drive
Post #896310 6th Apr 2021 7:48pm
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bear100



Member Since: 22 Mar 2010
Location: South Wales
Posts: 1867

Wales 2010 Defender 110 Puma 2.4 USW Santorini Black
The old ones are the best! 2016 Range Rover Autobiography 4.4 TDV8
2010 110 XS Utility 2.4TDCI
2010 Range Rover Sport TDV8 (gone)
2007 Discovery HSE TDV6 (gone)
1993 110 csw 200 tdi (gone)
1994 90 HT 300 tdi (gone)
1994 discovery 300tdi (gone)
90 hybrid 3.5 v8 (gone)
Range rover bobtail 3.5 v8 (gone)
Post #896358 7th Apr 2021 6:50am
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Ryderoo



Member Since: 28 Aug 2015
Location: South Bucks
Posts: 1655

England 2015 Defender 90 Puma 2.2 HT Santorini Black
😉
They’re all I know. I’ve delved deep for this one.

I went to the barbers between lockdowns.

I asked if I could have my hair cut like Lionel Richies.

The barber replied “of course sir”

Once finished I looked in the mirror, angry with rage I said

“That does not look like Lionel Richies hair cut”

The barber replied “it would do if he had it cut here!


(I’m here all week) Cheers Simon

I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you

2015 Urban Truck 90 XS Santorini Black Hard Top - Reluctantly gone
2020 Discovery 5 Eiger Grey 3.0 SE
2021 Defender S D250 Santorini Black 110 Hard Top on the drive
Post #896446 7th Apr 2021 11:49am
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blackwolf



Member Since: 03 Nov 2009
Location: South West England
Posts: 16808

United Kingdom 2007 Defender 110 Puma 2.4 DCPU Stornoway Grey
This is turning into a "heritage jokes" thread! There are jokes appearing here that I haven't heard since the 'sixties!

Keep up the good work! Thumbs Up Rolling with laughter
Post #896472 7th Apr 2021 1:19pm
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Whirly90



Member Since: 01 Sep 2016
Location: Ampshire
Posts: 398

England 1993 Defender 90 300 Tdi HT Keswick Green
I got a new 'Bonnie Tyler' sat nav and it's rubbish. It keeps telling me to turn around, and every now and then it falls apart.
Post #896492 7th Apr 2021 2:26pm
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Ryderoo



Member Since: 28 Aug 2015
Location: South Bucks
Posts: 1655

England 2015 Defender 90 Puma 2.2 HT Santorini Black
Reminds of the time my sat nav broke and I had to stop and ask for directions.

I asked this fella what the best way to get to Marble Arch.

He said “walking or driving?”

I replied “driving”

He answered “yes that’s the best way!”

Boom boom! Cheers Simon

I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you

2015 Urban Truck 90 XS Santorini Black Hard Top - Reluctantly gone
2020 Discovery 5 Eiger Grey 3.0 SE
2021 Defender S D250 Santorini Black 110 Hard Top on the drive
Post #896522 7th Apr 2021 4:49pm
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Dixy



Member Since: 30 Nov 2020
Location: Somerset
Posts: 41

United Kingdom 2007 Defender 90 2.5 TD CSW Cairns Blue
Whirly90 wrote:
I got a new 'Bonnie Tyler' sat nav and it's rubbish. It keeps telling me to turn around, and every now and then it falls apart.


Is that how you ended up lost in France.
Post #896525 7th Apr 2021 5:01pm
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athelstan



Member Since: 06 Aug 2019
Location: Kent
Posts: 55

United Kingdom 2015 Defender 90 Puma 2.2 CSW Montalcino Red
A curse on you Jaguar.

 2015 90 XS Station Wagon Puma 2.2
2015 Morgan Plus 4
Post #899329 21st Apr 2021 1:18pm
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Dinnu



Member Since: 24 Dec 2019
Location: Lija
Posts: 3140

Malta 2012 Defender 90 Puma 2.2 CSW Santorini Black
I asked my wife "Where do you want to go for our anniversary"? "Somewhere expensive!" she replied. So I took her to a petrol station. 1988 90 Hard Top, 19J Diesel Turbo, Shire Blue - Restoration ongoing
2012 90 CSW, 2.2TDCI, Santorini Black
Post #899356 21st Apr 2021 4:22pm
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spudfan



Member Since: 10 Sep 2007
Location: Co Donegal
Posts: 4428

Ireland 





 1982 88" 2.25 diesel
1992 110 200tdi csw -Zikali
2008 110 2.4 tdci csw-Zulu
2011 110 2.4 tdci csw-Masai
Post #899992 25th Apr 2021 9:33pm
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excossack



Member Since: 22 Feb 2012
Location: North West
Posts: 5725

United Kingdom 1999 Defender 110 Td5 SW Caledonian Blue
I've got my dogging gear on Ebay. So far no bids but 16 watchers.... 1999 Defender TD5 110

Regards
John M0VAZ
Econet Station 48 no clock
Post #901710 6th May 2021 2:49pm
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Procta



Member Since: 03 Dec 2016
Location: Sunderland
Posts: 4908

United Kingdom 
A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver said: "That`s the ugliest baby I`ve ever seen." In a huff, the woman slammed her fare down and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong.
"The bus driver insulted me," she fumed.
The man sympathised and said, "Why he`s a public servant and shouldn`t say things to insult passengers."
"You`re right," she said. "I think I`ll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind."
"That`s a good idea," the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey for you." Defender TD5 90 ---/--- Peugeot 306 HDI hatch back

Success is 90% Inspiration and 4 minutes Preparation # you can make it!
Post #903592 17th May 2021 4:32pm
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Muddybigdog



Member Since: 11 Apr 2014
Location: Suffolk
Posts: 989

United Kingdom 2007 Defender 90 Puma 2.4 XS CSW Zambezi Silver
 Jumped ship to reliability - Mitsubishi L200
Puma 90 XS - Sold
D3 - 2.7 S x2 (both Sold)
Freelander 2 HSE - Sold
Freelander 1 - Sold
Disco 2 - Sold
Post #906460 4th Jun 2021 12:54pm
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