↓ Advertise on Defender2 ↓

Home > Off Topic > T' Vitnary
Post Reply  Down to end
Page 1 of 1
Print this entire topic · 
willy eckerslike



Member Since: 15 Jun 2009
Location: North yorks
Posts: 1789

United Kingdom 2007 Defender 110 Puma 2.4 HCPU Keswick Green
T' Vitnary
The Vit'nary

The Vit'nary

Vet: 'That your sheepdog?'

Yorkshire Farmer: 'Aye.'

Vet: 'Mind if I speak to him?'

Yorksire farmer: 'Dog daent talk.'

Vet: 'Now dog, how's it garn?'

Sheepdog: 'Fine mate.'

Yorkshire Farmer: (Look of shock!)

Vet: 'Is this Farmer your owner?' (Pointing at the farmer)

Sheepdog: 'Aye.'

Vet: 'How's he treating you?'

Sheepdog: 'decent like. He walks me twice a day, feeds me good grub and
takes me to t'mart once a week.'

Yorkshire farmer: (Look of total disbelief)

Vet: 'Mind if I talk t' hoss?'

Yorkshire Farmer: 'Hoss daent talk.'

Vet: 'Now hoss, how's it garn?'

Hoss: 'Champion mate.'

Yorkshire Farmer: (Extreme look of shock!)

Vet: 'Is this your owner?' (Pointing to the farmer)

Hoss: 'Aye.'

Vet: 'How's he treating you?'

Hoss: 'Not bad mate, thanks for asking, he rides me, brushes me down
often and keeps me in a lean-to to protect me from t' weather.]

Yorkshire Farmer: (Look of total amazement)

Vet: 'Mind if I talk t' sheep?'

Yorkshire Farmer: Oh you daen't want t'talk to them lying Censored  Original Member Pie n Pea Club.
110 HCPU Tipper
Post #22362 18th Jan 2010 3:05pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
K9F



Member Since: 12 Nov 2009
Location: Bournemouth
Posts: 9610

United Kingdom 2008 Defender 90 Puma 2.4 XS CSW Stornoway Grey
Farmer Joke!
Nowt to do wit vitnary but loosely associated by fermer connection! You may have heard it but funny nevertheless, thought I'd share it...

Eberdeen Fermers Hae Nae Logic!

Two Aberdonian farmers, Tam and Rab, are sitting in the Farmers bar
drinking beer. Tam turns to Rab and says, 'Ye ken fit? I'm tired
o'gan through life athoot an education. I'morn, I think I'll go
doon to the squeel and sign up for some nicht classes.' Rab thinks
it's a good idea, and the two leave.
The next day Tam goes down to the school and meets the Lecturer,
who signs him up for the four basic classes: Maths, English,
History, and Logic.'
Logic?' Tam says. 'Fit's at?'
The Lecturer says, 'I'll show you. Do you own a Strimmer?''Aye''
Then logically because you own a Strimmer, I think that you have a
Garden.
Tam replies, 'At's true, I div hae a Gairden.
''I'm not done,' the Lecturer says. 'Because you have a Garden,I
think logically that you would have a house.
''Aye, I dee huv a hoose.''And because you have a house, I think
that you might logically have a family.''I hiv a femily.
''I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you
must have a wife.
''Man! Yer nae wrang!! I div hae a wife!!''
And because you have a wife, then logically you must be a
heterosexual.
''I am that! a heterosexual. That's amazin'!! You were able to find
a' that oot, jist 'cos huv a strimmer.' Excited to take the class now,
Tam shakes the Lecturers's hand and leaves to meet Rab at the pub.
He tells Rab about his classes, how he is signed up for Maths,
English, History and Logic.
'Logic?' Rab says, 'Fit's at? 'Tam says, 'I'll show ye. Do you huv
a strimmer?
''No.''Well then, yer a poof.' If you go through life with your head in the sand....all people will see is an ar5e!!

Treat every day as if it is your last....one day you will be right!!
Post #22367 18th Jan 2010 3:40pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
Grockle



Member Since: 24 Nov 2008
Location: Peak District National Park
Posts: 2266

United Kingdom 2008 Defender 90 Puma 2.4 XS CSW Tonga Green
is that thee Mist Erriott ? 2.4 90 XS
1968 1/32 scale Britains 109 Pick up.
Post #22459 19th Jan 2010 2:33pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Post Reply
Post Reply  Back to top
Page 1 of 1
All times are GMT + 1 Hour

Jump to  
Previous Topic | Next Topic >
Posting Rules
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum



Site Copyright © 2006-2024 Futuranet Ltd & Martin Lewis
DEFENDER2.NET RSS Feed - All Forums