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spudfan



Member Since: 10 Sep 2007
Location: Co Donegal
Posts: 2304

Ireland 
A sort of press release on the Defender replacement..

Land Rover will indeed be producing a replacement for it's iconic Defender model. Our accountants, sorry engineers, have been listening very closely to what owners have to say. Though generally regarded as an "icon" we fully acknowledge that the out going Defender was not without it's faults. Land Rover have been heartily criticised for not investing in the Defender model over the years but this was a "future planning" strategy by our accountants, sorry engineers. We had to prove that there was just no market ( by that our accountants mean a profitable one) for a basic, easily repairable model with limited expensive add on optional extras at point of sale.
We heard people complain about the rusting chassis and crossmember on the out going Defender. We could indeed have gone down the road of using high grade steel and galvanising it but we have opted for a new strategy. We (well our accountants) have decided that you will not be getting a separate chassis on the new, yet to be introduced model, so this will eliminate the problems associated with a rusting chassis.
The body on the proposed replacement vehicle will make extensive use of aluminium. It will be of monocoque structure making it very expensive to repair. This is a deliberate strategy on our part to ensure that the vehicle is never taken off road.
There were also issues reported with the linkage between the main gearbox and the transfer box. We have decided to eliminate this problem by not giving customers a transfer box on the proposed Defender replacement. So if we eliminate the component we eliminate the problem.
One of the biggest problems our franchised dealers had with the out going Defender model was the issue of owners home servicing the vehicle. This will no longer be a problem as the proposed replacement will be 100% non user friendly and will require the use of major diagnostic equipment during basic servicing. This will also eliminate the problem of messy driveways and give owners more time to spend with their families, instead of spending it underneath the vehicle.
We have had early derivatives of this proposed vehicle out for consumer testing with outstanding and positive feedback.
It seems it is perfectly suited for going to schools and supermarkets. A standard feature is the inclusion of an audible warning telling children to remove their foot wear before entering into the opulent interior. Another standard feature will be the inclusion of a coin holder on the passenger door trim. This will enable the owner to tell a child, deemed too dirty to enter the vehicle to take coins from the coin holder and to get the bus home. A simple but practical idea.
We have not forgotten the seasoned off roader brigade (and how we wish we could). For those who insist on taking this vehicle off road it will be fitted with multi recovery points both front and back. It will also have satellite communication systems that will allow the stuck vehicle to be located anywhere on the planet.
More to follow... 1982 88" 2.25 diesel
1992 110 200tdi csw -Zikali
2008 110 2.4 tdci csw-Zulu
2011 110 2.4 tdci csw-Masai

Post #602305 16th Feb 2017 5:10pm
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bankz5152



Member Since: 02 Feb 2017
Location: South London/North Kent
Posts: 561

2004 Defender 110 Td5 DCPU Epsom Green

Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing

Post #602307 16th Feb 2017 5:23pm
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Wild Card 90



Member Since: 03 Dec 2014
Location: Gerlingen
Posts: 849

England 2012 Defender 90 Puma 2.2 SW Indus Silver

Two things I have always admired about the Irish - the gift of the gab, and their stunning sense of humour Bow down

And the funniest part is, I fear that there is more than an element of truth what you´re saying there, Spudfan! Thumbs Up Rolling with laughter Bow down
Good one Thumbs Up 1998 Tdi 90 SW,
2008 Td4 90 SW,
2012 2.2 90 SW,
2" raised Trailmaster/Terrafirma
Heavy Track Raids, 255 MT´s,
Recaro CS´s, anorak, wellingtons

Post #602308 16th Feb 2017 5:28pm
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ARC99



Member Since: 19 Feb 2013
Location: North Yorkshire
Posts: 1243

United Kingdom 2008 Defender 110 Puma 2.4 USW Cairns Blue

I started to read this and thought it was for real( silly me) until I got to It will be of monocoque structure making it very expensive to repair. This is a deliberate strategy on our part to ensure that the vehicle is never taken off road.
That's when I started to laugh. Don't make old people mad.
We don't like being old in the first place,
so it doesn't take much to Censored us off.

Richard

Post #602309 16th Feb 2017 5:28pm
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ARC99



Member Since: 19 Feb 2013
Location: North Yorkshire
Posts: 1243

United Kingdom 2008 Defender 110 Puma 2.4 USW Cairns Blue

Wild Card 90 wrote:
Two things I have always admired about the Irish - the gift of the gab, and their stunning sense of humour Bow down

And the funniest part is, I fear that there is more than an element of truth what you´re saying there, Spudfan! Thumbs Up Rolling with laughter Bow down
Good one Thumbs Up



You forgot they slightly alter words when the swear. Rolling with laughter Don't make old people mad.
We don't like being old in the first place,
so it doesn't take much to Censored us off.

Richard

Post #602310 16th Feb 2017 5:30pm
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