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i do hope this doesn't start a deluge of Yorkshire jokes
| g-mack Member Since: 07 Jan 2014 Location: northumberland Posts: 1967  
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the new twerking rage is nowt new in yorkshire! its how they get t'money t'pay t'bills
 My 109 thread
my youtube channel |
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28th May 2014 11:17pm |
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| custom90 Member Since: 21 Jan 2010 Location: South West, England. Posts: 19650
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Which is why they go T'werk in't morn in'
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28th May 2014 11:23pm |
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| willy eckerslike Member Since: 15 Jun 2009 Location: North yorks Posts: 1789 
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The Vit'nary Vet: 'That your sheepdog?' Yorkshire Farmer: 'Aye.' Vet: 'Mind if I speak to him?' Yorksire farmer: 'Dog daent talk.' Vet: 'Now dog, how's it garn?' Sheepdog: 'Fine mate.' Yorkshire Farmer: (Look of shock!) Vet: 'Is this Farmer your owner?' (Pointing at the farmer) Sheepdog: 'Aye.' Vet: 'How's he treating you?' Sheepdog: 'decent like. He walks me twice a day, feeds me good grub and takes me to t'mart once a week.' Yorkshire farmer: (Look of total disbelief) Vet: 'Mind if I talk t' hoss?' Yorkshire Farmer: 'Hoss daent talk.' Vet: 'Now hoss, how's it garn?' Hoss: 'Champion mate.' Yorkshire Farmer: (Extreme look of shock!) Vet: 'Is this your owner?' (Pointing to the farmer) Hoss: 'Aye.' Vet: 'How's he treating you?' Hoss: 'Not bad mate, thanks for asking, he rides ma, brushes ma down often like and keeps me int lean-to to protect me from t' weather.] Yorkshire Farmer: (Look of total amazement) Vet: 'Mind if I talk t' sheep?' Yorkshire Farmer: Oh you daen't want t'talk to them lying B astard s Original Member Pie n Pea Club. 110 HCPU Tipper |
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29th May 2014 6:49am |
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| GUM97 Member Since: 05 Feb 2012 Location: Cheshire Posts: 3555 
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An American tourist comes to England to visit. He tours around the major cities and, being a great lover of cathedrals and churches, he visits many - starting in St. Pauls Cathedral in London.
Whilst in there he is admiring the great architecture and amazing fittings when he notices a golden telephone behind the alter! He asks some-one what the golden phone is...and gets the answer "thats a direct line to God! But it costs 50 million British pounds to use it !" Amazed, he snaps some photos, and moves on for his next visit. In Lincoln Cathedral he is again loooking around at the majesty of the interior, when he sees another golden telephone behind the alter. Again, he asks someone what it is...."a direct line to God mate! But its 50 million British Pounds to use it!" Again, amazed, he snaps some photos, and moves on for his next visit. He visits great cathedrals and churches the length and breadth of Britain - Manchester, Glasgow, Bristol etc etc....and all have these golden phones behind the alter - £50million pounds a call. Finally he arrives in Yorkshire and calls in Sheffield Cathedral. He is taking photos and taking it all in when he notices that there is a sign next to the golden phone which reads, "All calls 10pence". Aghast, he asks the Vicar about it, "I have seen these golden phones in all the places I have visited, but they are £50million to call God...how come this one has that sign on it?" The Vicar replies "This is Yorkshire my friend...its a local call from here!" An engine to TDi for! "Land Rover- Proudly turning drivers into mechanics since 1948" |
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29th May 2014 12:00pm |
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| ARC99 Member Since: 19 Feb 2013 Location: North Yorkshire Posts: 1831 
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Don't make old people mad.
We don't like being old in the first place, so it doesn't take much to  us off.
Richard |
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29th May 2014 12:04pm |
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| 90mojo Member Since: 19 Mar 2014 Location: UK Posts: 175
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GUM97
As an Essex boy that snuck in and (been allowed to) live in North Yorkshire, this made me chuckle. It's true  Amazing county, love it here |
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29th May 2014 12:06pm |
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| GUM97 Member Since: 05 Feb 2012 Location: Cheshire Posts: 3555
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It's one of my favorites!
When I was much younger, I always remember being in the car with my Dad taking a French salesman over to Leeds. As we were driving over the Pennines on the M62, he suddenly put his foot down... "Did you feel that Sylvain" "Yes, what happened?" "That, my friend, is the Yorkshire air! It makes the car run much better!"
He probably still believes it too  An engine to TDi for!
"Land Rover- Proudly turning drivers into mechanics since 1948" |
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29th May 2014 12:44pm |
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| Green Machine Member Since: 19 Nov 2010 Location: North Yorkshire Posts: 1226 
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@GUM really enjoyed that one! Told it to my Dad and gave him a good chuckle too - haven't heard that one before. And made even more enjoyable for the fact it's based on the truth!
2005 Td5 | 90 Station Wagon | Tonga Green |
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29th May 2014 8:15pm |
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| Oscar Romeo Member Since: 16 Apr 2014 Location: South Yorks, the pinnacle of all human achievement Posts: 121  
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A hooker goes up to a yorkshire fella and says "will you sleep with me for £100?"
Yorkshire fella says "well i am not tied but i need the money" |
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1st Jun 2014 6:21pm |
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| Oscar Romeo Member Since: 16 Apr 2014 Location: South Yorks, the pinnacle of all human achievement Posts: 121
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Proper "old school" Yorkshire fella goes to the vets with his Yorkshire terrier and tells the vet "he's swallowed a condom" "oh! Thats very serious, you go home and i call when i have some news" the vets about to operate and and the Yorkshire guy calls "its about that condom, don't worry about it the wife's found another on the bedside cabinet"
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1st Jun 2014 6:27pm |
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| Joe the Plumber Member Since: 18 Dec 2013 Location: Midlands Posts: 907 
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&feature=kp
Eeeeeeeehhhhhh! |
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1st Jun 2014 8:51pm |
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| Oscar Romeo Member Since: 16 Apr 2014 Location: South Yorks, the pinnacle of all human achievement Posts: 121
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Love this....
&feature=kp |
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3rd Jun 2014 8:14pm |
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| shaggydog Member Since: 12 Aug 2012 Location: Kent Posts: 3346 
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Yorkshire man takes his cat to the vet.
Man: Eyup Veterinary, I phoned earlier about neutering family cat. Vet: Aye, that's right. Is it a Tom? Man: No, I brought it with me. |
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3rd Jun 2014 8:28pm |
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| Oscar Romeo Member Since: 16 Apr 2014 Location: South Yorks, the pinnacle of all human achievement Posts: 121
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3rd Jun 2014 8:45pm |
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