↓ Advertise on Defender2 ↓

Home > Off Topic > Joke of the day ... (beat this)
Post Reply  Down to end
Page 40 of 97 <123 ... 394041 ... 959697>
Print this entire topic · 
Triggerfinger



Member Since: 18 Aug 2015
Location: landyrotty
Posts: 129

Scotland 
Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Do it right Do it once !!!!!
Post #475658 24th Nov 2015 1:00am
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
steventheplumber



Member Since: 29 Apr 2014
Location: Lincolnshire
Posts: 767

England 1987 Defender 90 200 Tdi HT Keswick Green
They will be off Isis Christmas card list.
Post #475791 24th Nov 2015 2:06pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
gilarion



Member Since: 05 Dec 2013
Location: Wales
Posts: 5084

Wales 2007 Defender 90 Other CSW Trident Green
Oliver Hardy: 'Didn't you once tell me that you had an uncle?'
Stan Laurel: 'Sure, I've got an uncle. Why?'
Oliver: 'Now we're getting somewhere. Is he living?'
Stanley: 'No. He fell through a trap door and broke his neck.'
Oliver: 'Was he building a house?'
Stanley: 'No, they were hanging him.' For those who like Welsh Mountains and narrow boats have a look at my videos and photos at..

http://www.youtube.com/user/conwy1


Last edited by gilarion on 24th Nov 2015 4:45pm. Edited 1 time in total
Post #475832 24th Nov 2015 4:43pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
CarlS



Member Since: 10 Apr 2007
Location: Probably near you
Posts: 148

2016 Defender 110 Puma 2.2 XS CSW Aintree Green
Did anyone hear what the boy with no hands got for Christmas?

GLOVES!!!

Only joking, he hasn't opened it yet! The spawn of AndrewS

2016 Defender 110 XS Station Wagon (Built on the last day, 59 from the end) - Dead
2016 Mini Countryman Cooper S All 4
2019 BMW R1200 GSA Rallye Sport
Post #475833 24th Nov 2015 4:45pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
gilarion



Member Since: 05 Dec 2013
Location: Wales
Posts: 5084

Wales 2007 Defender 90 Other CSW Trident Green
From the book of alternative comedy

Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect

Thought of the day how do you tell when you're out of invisible ink

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did – in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car

I went to a restaurant that serves breakfast at any time. So I ordered 'French Toast during the Renaissance

Man walks into a chemist’s and says, "Can I have a bar of soap, please?" The chemist says, "Do you want it scented?" And the man says, "No, I’ll take it with me now

I always take my wife morning tea in my pyjamas, but is she grateful? . . . No, she says she'd rather have it in a cup

My Dad used to say "always fight fire with fire", which is probably why he got thrown out of the the fire brigade

The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was a genius

How come Miss Universe is only won by people from Earth

I like the pope. You know that white thing on his head? If you push that down and twist it, he's full of sweets

I remember the last thing my nan said to me before she died. ‘What are you doing here with that hammer?

Whoever said nothing is impossible obviously hasn't tried nailing jelly to a tree

Being an England supporter is like being the over-optimistic parents of the fat kid on sports day For those who like Welsh Mountains and narrow boats have a look at my videos and photos at..

http://www.youtube.com/user/conwy1
Post #475836 24th Nov 2015 5:12pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
Laurie



Member Since: 22 Feb 2008
Location: Sussex, England
Posts: 2897

England 2005 Defender 90 Td5 XS CSW Bonatti Grey
On their way to the church to get married, a young Catholic couple were involved in a fatal car accident

Being good Catholics the young couple find themselves sitting outside the
Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven.

While waiting, they begin to wonder: could they possibly get married in
Heaven?

When St. Peter finally showed up, they asked him.

St Peter said "I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me
go find out" and he leaves them sitting at the Gate.

After three months, St Peter finally returns, looking somewhat bedraggled.
"Yes" he informs the couple " I can get you married in Heaven".

"Great!" said the couple "But we were just wondering, what if things don't
work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?"

"You must be bloody joking" says St. Peter, red-faced with frustration,
slamming his clipboard on the ground.

"What's wrong?" asked the frightened couple".

"OH, COME ON!" St. Peter shouted
"It took me three months to find a priest up here.
Do you have any idea how long it'll take me to find a lawyer?" 
Post #476230 25th Nov 2015 11:00pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Send e-mail Reply with quote
gilarion



Member Since: 05 Dec 2013
Location: Wales
Posts: 5084

Wales 2007 Defender 90 Other CSW Trident Green
Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter For those who like Welsh Mountains and narrow boats have a look at my videos and photos at..

http://www.youtube.com/user/conwy1
Post #476377 26th Nov 2015 2:40pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
Laurie



Member Since: 22 Feb 2008
Location: Sussex, England
Posts: 2897

England 2005 Defender 90 Td5 XS CSW Bonatti Grey
Best MoT certificate ever?



Admin note: this post has had its images recovered from a money grabbing photo hosting site and reinstated Mr. Green  
Post #476907 28th Nov 2015 2:37am
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Send e-mail Reply with quote
bpman



Member Since: 21 May 2008
Location: Oslo
Posts: 8069

2008 Defender 110 Puma 2.4 SVX Station Wagon Santorini Black
Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter
Post #476913 28th Nov 2015 7:59am
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
defender4



Member Since: 22 Jun 2011
Location: South East London
Posts: 411

United Kingdom 2007 Defender 90 Puma 2.4 XS CSW Java Black
^^^
Post #476960 28th Nov 2015 11:46am
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
Pjembe



Member Since: 21 Jul 2015
Location: Newbiggin by the Sea
Posts: 143

United Kingdom 2015 Defender 110 Puma 2.2 USW Santorini Black
Not saying that this is relevant to anyone here but............


Post #480875 10th Dec 2015 12:38am
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
Laurie



Member Since: 22 Feb 2008
Location: Sussex, England
Posts: 2897

England 2005 Defender 90 Td5 XS CSW Bonatti Grey
Donald Trump says he wants immigrants out of America. Native Americans agree with him and want to know how soon he can Censored off. 
Post #481204 11th Dec 2015 1:43am
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Send e-mail Reply with quote
Venomator



Member Since: 25 Aug 2014
Location: Peterborough
Posts: 2087

United Kingdom 
^ ^ ^
Rolling with laughter Thumbs Up Laughing

Last night my wife sent me a text, saying she was in Casualty.

When I got home I watched all 50 minutes of it..........

Never saw her once.

She still hasn't come home. I'm starving.
 Rog... Mr. Green
The GREEN One...


MY2016 Urban Truck Build Thread - http://www.defender2.net/forum/topic40548....al[/color]
Post #481803 13th Dec 2015 5:07pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
Pjembe



Member Since: 21 Jul 2015
Location: Newbiggin by the Sea
Posts: 143

United Kingdom 2015 Defender 110 Puma 2.2 USW Santorini Black

Click image to enlarge
Post #481921 13th Dec 2015 11:15pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
L110CDL



Member Since: 31 Oct 2015
Location: Devon
Posts: 10491

England 
Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter ^ ^ ^
Post #481929 13th Dec 2015 11:31pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
Post Reply  Back to top
Page 40 of 97 <123 ... 394041 ... 959697>
All times are GMT + 1 Hour

Jump to  
Previous Topic | Next Topic >
Posting Rules
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum



Site Copyright © 2006-2024 Futuranet Ltd & Martin Lewis
DEFENDER2.NET RSS Feed - All Forums